It’s not because I think childhood memories are made of skittles and cheese balls. Or because I’m lazy. And it’s not COMPLETELY because I use food as a reward when I drag them through Whole Foods for an hour. It’s not even because I believe that gowing children need milk and fortified cereal. Or because I listen to the pediatrician’s nutrition advice. It’s a lot more complicated than any of those things. And yet it’s also pretty simple.
I believe that the paleo way of eating is as healthy as you personally make it. I genuinely enjoy meat, fish, lots of veggies, fat, so much that I never feel deprived of anything at all. I feel energetic, happy, and I don’t crave things that I’m not allowing myself to have. Within the paleo template there is more than enough for me to choose from to satisfy any type of craving or hunger that may arise. I am a grownup. I’ve lived in my body for more than 30 years and have a pretty good idea of how things work in there at this point.
My children, like most kids, are less open to the wonders of the paleo universe. Yes, I know that some people completely stop buying yogurt and cheese sticks and cereal and the kids come around. I’ve thought about it, and I’m not on board yet. Here’s why:
1. I don’t believe all grains are evil. Just because they make me feel like garbage doesn’t mean my kids can’t tolerate them. My oldest daughter is the “most paleo” of my kids by choice, and she doesn’t feel or behave differently whether she has cereal or eggs and bacon for breakfast. She’ll eat a sunbutter sandwich on organic white bread and some fruit or raw veggies and she’s fine. She also eats more steak, broccoli and sweet potatoes than my husband and fried plantains are her current favorite. So why do I need to mess up all those great choices by telling her she can’t have a sandwich or the donut/cupcake at the birthday party? If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. That’s her story. My other 2 are trickier.
2. My 3 year old does not eat anything but pizza, pb & j, yogurt, and fruit. Yes, the extent of what he will consume fits into less than one line on paper. He is picky with a capital PPPPPisses me off. Although to his credit he has finally decided he likes scrambled eggs, but I’m sure it will only last another day or two. Yes, he is healthy (big) enough that I could probably do the paleo cold turkey thing with him and he might eat after a week, but, he’s 3, and he already feels like I’m trying to rob him of the pleasure of drawing on walls and playing outside in the rain. I will not take away his pb & j and yogurt. The paleo dinner goes on his plate and I love when he takes a bite, but he is happy, healthy, and I have plenty of other battles to pick. Which brings me to my middle daughter.
3. Some kids see “deprivation” in nearly every situation. My 5 year old daughter is the classic middle child in that she has 2 to compete with and from her perspective she usually has it the worst. I won’t argue that because it’s sometimes true. BUT she nearly always focuses on what she “can’t” have or “doesn’t get” with food and everything else. “Diana had a birthday party so I need a treat now.” “Drew got a toy so I need a toy.” She is the kid who complains that she “never gets what she wants” for dinner if there is one night where mac and cheese is not served. She has been a “carb kid” since the beginning of time (fruit included). She actually didn’t eat any solid food until 15 months because she flat out refused it and would rather nurse until I weaned her at 22 months. She also genuinely gags on meat (loud sigh). She is a constant battle, nutrition wise, because she always feels deprived in some way. To ACTUALLY deprive her of food groups she loves, would be cruel, I feel, and the psychological repercussions for both of us are just not worth it right now. I try to go with the flow and feed her what she’ll eat, have her “try” as much as she’ll agree to, and sometimes, I make her eat the darn chicken. Being a parent man, NOT EASY. She was the inspiration behind my “No One Cries Turkey Meatballs.”
So to conclude, this is why I don’t feed my kids strict paleo:
- I’m not really paleo because I haven’t exorcised my house of grains.
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I’m lazy and indulgent.
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I prioritize mental health in my children over how “paleo” they are.
I guess it’s up to you to decide what the real reasons are. Anyway, it’s been fun chatting like this. Now you tell me:
What do you think about kids eating paleo assuming they have no known allergies or intolerances? Do you struggle with what to feed your kids?
i love this post! I’ve actually wondered about what parents with special diets do for their children. I think you make some great points and I love the overarching theme of paleo being a lifestyle choice and you really can’t make that choice for your children (unless its an actual allergy to something).
Glad you enjoyed! it’s a confusing one and so many different opinions. hopefully people can do what’s best for their family without worrying about defending choices.
I guess that is the thing that I love about the Diet Cults book – it reminds us that THERE IS NO ONE HEALTHY WAY TO EAT. Period.
People who are Vegan (as opposed to following a vegan eating plan) remind us that we are all evil murderers – oh, and theirs is the ‘one true way’ to health.
People who are Paleo (as opposed to common sense paleo eaters like you) remind us that every grain, dairy, soy and so on is WRONG and BAD BAD BAD … and that theirs is the ‘one true way to health’.
*sigh*
When our kids were little, the older one was into fruits more, the younger one into veggies. The younger one was always pickier, and not surprisingly suffers from loads of allergies. Rather than the ‘good / bad’ philosophy, or restriction/elimination, we taught choices and balance. And it works for us. They are not perfect eaters by any stretch … but who cares. They basically make sound choices.
As for your middle one … she is a rare middle child, really! Most middle children have all of those thoughts – but suppress them. They get the shaft on both ends – oldest is trailblazer, youngest is baby – but are always more accommodating. Until they end up obese and running at 23 to lose 175 lbs … oops, how did this suddenly be about me!?! haha
Thanks for sharing.
Oh – and love the ‘picky with a capital piss me off’ line! We have always been a ‘one dinner for all’ family, and getting my younger son to try some things was … ‘fun’. 🙂
I love the insight on the middle child! Being the oldest it’s hard for me to understand how she feels, although I can see WHY she would feel that way. Seriously, you just helped me with a pretty big parenting issue!
Also thanks for the reminder that I need to look into that book 🙂
The thing I know is that parenting is done with 50% heart, 40% brain, 25% intuition, 30% ignoring advice, and 100% love … and without being in your house I can already tell that you know all of this – because you have NEVER presented yourself as perfect. You acknowledge that your angels are not angels, that you blow your stack and have non-proud moments.
I am much less comfortable hearing about perfect little angels who eat perfectly healthy balanced meals always, never make mistakes or throw fits, and so on … either the blogger is ‘glossing over the truth’ … or the kids are robots! 😀
It takes a while to learn this but that’s pretty much where I’m at. I will never understand portraying your family or kids or self as perfect or only showing the good stuff. Who does that help? I can’t say I know what really goes on but my guess is it only feeds the neuroses of the person themselves. Or maybe some kids really are robots 🙂
I found this so interesting to read, and it makes complete sense to me! I was such a picky eater growing up and I think I would have lost it if my parents tried to make me eat a certain way. It took a long time but I eventually came around to trying new things…and it was actually once I became more independent when I became open to some of the foods that I was refused to even try. (I was always the kid who “knew” I didn’t like it before I even tried it).
I would like to think that when I have kids that I will somehow magically get them to eat lots of healthy foods and like it…but I know thats not what will happen. As you said I think mental health is more important that a daily battle over whether or not they can eat a piece of bread!
It seems like the more kids feel like they CAN make their own choices, better ones sneak in there anyway. So once you were more independent and in charge of your food you naturally dropped the picky eating…that’s pretty much in line with what I’m going for.
It’s a fine line. I like to teach them about nutrition so they can decide what foods to eat based on what feels good AND is good for them rather than RULES. I don’t think food rules help kids (allergies aside of course). very tricky subject!
what a healthy, well-balanced, mature approach. i love that you see your children as individuals and adjust accordingly. i hope to be as supportive and in-tune as you are as my little guy continues to grow.
Thanks 🙂 It’s tough and I try to listen to my gut instincts with important issues instead of getting caught up in advice or doing the “right” thing. Still tough though!
My mom has been eating healthy ever since I popped out of the womb. She tried so very hard to instill her healthy lifestyle into my sibling’s & my brains but we rebelled. That being said, her teachings did finally pay off, however, we all need to figure out what works and what doesn’t work for ourselves. If we only let others dictate this information, without trying it out, we will never truly learn about healthy and not so healthy living!
I agree, everyone at some point needs to figure it out for themselves. I’m hoping to lead by example but also know that trying to force “healthy habits” can be pretty unhealthy. I like your story!
I just sort of found your blog but I thought this was an interesting post. 🙂 I know some parents on restrictive diets (personal preference) and most seem to push their diet lifestyle onto their kids. I admire your attitude and outlook on it.
Thanks! There are lots of conflicting views on this issue and I just have to go with what feels right to me. I’m sure others might read this and think I’m misguided but to each his own, we can’t let judgements get in the way of big decisions I guess 🙂
‘Psychological repercussions for both of us’.. Ha! That made me laugh. What draws me to your blog is your realness. I don’t have kids so i have nothing to offer but in any case enjoyed this post! Interesting to think about. I think you ‘re going about it like i would.
Thanks and happy to hear you enjoyed reading! Definitely no easy answers in parenting so I try to listen to my gut and do what I can. Same with my blog and trying to keep it real 🙂
After finding you on Instagram today, I headed over here to pretty much read all your posts! This is exactly how I feed my girls. Fortunately, they are both excellent eaters and hardly ever refuse anything I offer. I’m pretty sure I could make them Paleo. However, they are kids, and I don’t want them to miss out on birthday party fun and mac and cheese and the free Publix cookie! I make a Paleo dinner, but if they want cereal or yogurt for breakfast, then ok! I do try and talk about good food choices when I let my oldest have candy, how it’s a treat and not a food group!
I’m also new to running and have found those posts extremely helpful! I’m slow but excited about going farther faster! Thanks for sharing!
Yay so glad you found me and you can relate to some of my craziness! It’s actually really nice to hear you have the same thoughts about feeding your kids as I do. I’m conflicted but feel this is best for right now. Happy to have you reading!
oh wow, I’m so glad I found this post! I strive to eat the best/cleanest I possibly can so my meals have a rainbow of veggies, organic grass-fed proteins, etc. My 8yo on the other hand… UGH! Cheese pizza, chicken tacos and that’s it!So nice to know i’m not the only one!
For us it’s on the go, school, and outside that house that’s the hardest to keep healthy. At home, we have the stuff we have so it’s not as big of a deal, but the outside world is filled with pizza, ice cream, and pasta so I don’t make a big deal about eating any certain way when we’re out. I think by eating healthy at home you’re setting a good example for them 🙂
I know i’m late on this but I’m clearly stalking your older posts. I LOVE this and you phrased it so perfectly- This is why I stopped reading many blogs- They have one viewpoint and focus solely on that. You know what works for you, but never condone it on others, not even those closest to you.
Bravo.
Thanks! I’ve gotten to the point where they all eat the paleo dinners I make, but I don’t attempt to control them further than that. Everyone seems happy, so I’m going with it 🙂 Glad you’re reading some of my older posts!
This is a really refreshing look at kids diets. Unfortunately we have loads of intolerances here, and behavioural food issues ( one of my kids flips it when he eats avocado! ). Before we changed our diets ( won’t say paleo, perhaps primal for me, but my partner is I don’t know what…grain free but eats pulses and dairy, no sugar etc… The kids ate pretty well anyway, but it was clear to us there was some food problems for them. I’m sure you know your kids, but consider sensory issues as fussiness isn’t ” normal “. Sure, all little kids try to push the boundaries, but if it gets to the point where they can’t try different foods, gag on foods or mealtimes are a nightmare unless they get one of the three things they eat, it is usually sensory issues.
I think part of the issues we had were the kids were so young and just not used to what I cooked for myself, basically, we hadn’t gotten into our “Paleo groove” yet 🙂 now we all have our favorites but things are much calmer overall. I agree with sensory issues, my younger daughter had much of that a few years back, not only with food.