I woke up this morning at 5am and peeled myself out of bed for the usual – bathroom, blog reading, and running – in that exact order. And yes, I had to literally PEEL myself out of bed, one vertebrae at a time, just like they say in exercise videos.
I find that often on the days I have an “easy” run planned, my motivation is lacking. My mind has gone into rest-day mode without my realizing it and I don’t have the jolt of nerves and adrenaline that I have on the mornings where I plan to run long or hard.
Luckily though, this morning, the first blog post I opened was this one by Tina, a talented and extrememly hard working elite runner who seems to read my mind sometimes with what she posts. In short, she wrote about shifting your running mantras from the “pushing through pain” kind to a more positive “make things right” focus.
This 100% resonated with me, someone who’s viewed running success for way too long from the perspective of “doing hard things” and continuing even when it hurts. And hurts a lot.
After all, I was the idiot, no, lost soul, exercise addict(?) who ran through an obvious and very painful injury for over a month in 2013, and even ran a marathon this way, hobbling along, both injured and sick. Even still, it took me months after that to realize that running should not be a pain game we play to atone for past sins or anything else really. Running is a hobby and a sport that might involve SOME pain, sometimes, but doesn’t have to be ABOUT pain.
So, after reading what Tina had to say, I went out for my easy 5 miles and did some thinking about what’s on the other side of motivation, and how I can make it work for me to create some new, positive mantras as I train for the NYCM.
I’m linking up with Amanda today to think out loud, and hopefully get some of your thoughts on the positive side of motivation as well!
My Old Motivation
I’ve found both in real life and online that there are others like me who at one point felt, and believed, that sheer determination and a very high tolerance for pain could get you anything you wanted in life. Or maybe we convinced ourselves that this was true, that we could somehow tolerate more pain than other people and this would lead us to great things.
I hate to write this because it stirs up memories for me of my younger, more insecure and naive self, but this is the truth and it’s where I’m coming from.
While training for my first marathon during the winter/spring of 2013, I held tight to the pain game. I had jumped into running long distances too quickly, and, although I was faster than I am now for the most part, my runs were more painful. My knees and hips ached, my whole body ached the day following a long run. I took this as a good sign, even though I now see it as a warning that I was doing too much too soon.
The more painful a run was, the more exhilarated I’d feel mentally, afterwards. It truly did become an addiction, to the point that I associated the pain of pushing hard or even of running on something that hurt with success. My mantras were all pain and determination focused, all telling me to push myself until it hurts and then go further.
That first marathon remains my PR, and so at least for that time, I was rewarded by actual success from this mental framework, which has made it very difficult to shift away from. The rewards pretty much ended there, though.
The Conflict
Eventually, I wound up injured and my IBS was punching me in the gut worse than ever before by October of 2013. More pain didn’t work, I could no longer “just do it” and I couldn’t force improvement. I was falling apart and it was no longer acceptable or desirable to me. My recovery process leading up to the Boston Marathon 2014 led to the beginning of this blog.
New Motivation?
I approached Philadelphia differently last year, yet almost felt guilty for not “wanting” to be in pain! Yes, this is a very hard thing to get over. Admittedly I still feel conflicted now even though I truly don’t want to subscribe to the “no pain no gain” mentality, yet it haunts me and I often feel like I’m not working hard enough. In running, and in life. The crazy thing is that not a fiber in me even BELIEVES in it anymore, yet there’s still that sick little voice that wants to align my worthiness with how hard I push my limits.
As I get into training for the NYCM, as I said in my post last week about goals, this is my dream race and not a measure of my worthiness in any way as a runner or anything else. It’s my HOBBY, I love doing it and I want to celebrate running my dream race while still pushing myself. After reading Tina’s post, I know I need new mantras to take me through the tough moments.
Some of these thoughts that come to mind feel and sound very uncharacteristic of me, since if you know me in real life and on my blog, you know that I’m pretty sarcastic, not a unicorn, and don’t drool over rainbows. BUT I want to be kind to myself, set a positive example for my kids, and once and for all, STOP putting pain on a pedestal. Lord knows I won’t be on my death bed wishing I’d experienced more pain.
This is your playground.
Feel your heart beating.
Be alive.
It’s your time.
It’s okay to smile.
I’d love to hear some of your thoughts!
What’s your favorite positive mantra?
Have you struggled with the “no pain no gain” mentality?
I think there is no better time to work on this than while training for NYC. You already know you want to enjoy the experience, and in order to do that it will be key not to overdo it. I also feel like your yoga will also help you with your goal, as it can help you stay aware of and in tune with your body. I think at this point we know we can cover the distance, its all about getting there in an enjoyable and safe way, pushing ourselves just enough to see improvement but not too much- which can be a very fine line!
Agree, with this marathon it’s been on my mind more lately, and also just from having more training experience I think. It’s a lot more enjoyable flipping perspective, and of course healthier too.
So now I have Madonna’s old song This Used To Be My Playground in my head from you saying this is your playground lol. The easy/recovery runs are not as exciting and don’t produce the same exciting feeling of exhaustion/endorphin high as the tougher runs but lately I do okay and look forward to them. I have found the relaxing part of those runs and I just let my mind wander and proceed as comfortable. I am liking your new approach to running and training, the whole running process is such a journey isn’t it?
I read your comment this morning and the song has been in my head all day! Surprisingly I still know all the words. I’ve also come to enjoy the easy runs and love letting my mind wander wherever it wants to go 🙂
Thank you for the kind words! That means so much!! I am so glad you have changed your mantra into something that is right for you, and something that makes you believe in happiness while running, rather than running through injuries….and we all know how that works out!!! Thanks for sharing 🙂
Loved your post, thanks Tina!
I am definitely not into pain 🙂 I am more of a slow and steady runner. I love running and truly love the whole experience! Beginning to end and that keeps me going!
Smart, healthy, and enjoyable perspective. You have it right!
I learned a long time ago that pain isn’t worth it. Seize and embrace discomfort, but never pain. I ran through some pretty terrible IBD flares that I probably shouldn’t have, but they honestly kept me alive. Not because I needed the pain (no I was definitely afraid of it!) but because I needed everything up to that point. Pain has no value for me.
That line between discomfort and pain is one I was never good at discerning, but live and learn, I think I get it now 🙂
I think a lot of us can relate that we related pushing ourselves to the limit whether it be straight A’s in college/graduate school, career, relationships and of course running(and I was also a very accomplished ice skater), was the way to satisfy our “perfectionism personalities.” Boy were we WRONG. All it did for me was create stress, more stress and then some, as well as injury. Battling PERFECTIONISM and my desire to make everyone I love happy has something I have battled and has battled me back hard. I have been able to rein it back and change some, but it honestly rears its ugly head at times to haunt me and I need to, like you, think it out and through. Only a similar personality type gets it. Others think, get with the program. Wish it was all that easy.
Battling perfectionism is tough, it’s really a lifelong thing as you know because it just creeps up everywhere! I definitely know you get it, thanks for the thoughtful input 🙂
I ran through a lot of pain during my high school cross country days and now I simply try to “run happy.” Like you said, this is a hobby so why put ourselves through torture in our free time? If that means slowing down or running less to still physically and mentally enjoy running, I’m all for it.
There is really no value to torture ourselves in our free time, it’s a hard thing for me to allow to sink in but it’s crucial to living a full life is what I’m realizing.
You’re so right about the more pain leading to success mindset. It really doesn’t. To be honest though, I don’t know why my body has broken down this way because I’ve been very cautious with my workouts and not running hardly doing any cardio. It deeply confuses me how I could be so injured from this car accident when I’ve done nothing to cause it. Kind of scary actually.
I know what you mean by scary when you can’t explain the cause as something you’re doing to yourself. Definitely felt that in your post today. In some ways I think that’s why I’ve valued pushing through pain, as a way to “prepare” myself for the unknown that’s to come. Of course it doesn’t work that way. I relate to trying to analyze the reasons for your body not cooperating. I like things to make sense, and when they don’t, it DOES scare me!
Running caused me too much stress and pain, so even though I had this great feeling of accomplishment, it wasn’t worth anything else. I can get the same “power” I need through the other fitness I do in my life. (At least for now!)
Running is not worth stress and pain, you’re smart to have backed off when that stuff crept up because there really is zero value in it, and there are so many others ways to be fit and healthy that do not involve running a step.
I think being older sometimes does mean being wiser (and sometimes not, of course). I definitely don’t have a no pain, no gain attitude, but I still struggle with not following a plan to a T. I’ve had some twinges in my knee this week & I’ve taped it up & continued to run while wondering if I ought to take another rest day. Or should my tempo run today be an easy run instead?
I read Tina’s blog too. It was a great post!
One of my favorite mantras, altho not short: I am enough, I have enough, I do enough, every day.
I relate to that feeling of questioning a twinge, not trusting my instinct to rest it, and wanting to stick to the “plan” above all else. I really do battle with that urge. It’s interesting how these feelings run on a continuum and it’s not black and white. I know I’ll struggle with wanting to stay on my plan but I really need to remember an extra rest day or two can really only help.
I love your mantras, and I can definitely relate to your old mindset. When I ran growing up, my parents would push me really hard and always expected me to win every race. I was doing great up until my junior year of high school when I was miserable and hated running, then ended up breaking my toe and tearing my hamstring in the same week. After that I pretty much quit running for all of college. When I started up again I just wanted to run for fun and not push myself to that extreme again. It’s a lot better now even if my times aren’t good at all!
I’ve pulled a hamstring but can’t imagine tearing it -ouch – on top of breaking a toe! Sounds like you were just “done” in every sense at that point. In a way it’s good to have had that experience early on so you can stick to what’s important now. I also get down on my times, but keep reminding myself it means nothing about how “good” of anything I am.
Yes! This! I definitely feel this way the day after what I interpret to be a hard workout. I get almost worried that I didn’t do enough if I’m not sore the next day. But sometimes that just means I’m getting stronger!
Good point, when we feel great it’s not a sign to do more, it’s a sign all is well!
I can definitely relate to using pain as a measure of determination or success — I did exactly the same thing in the worst of my eating disorder days, and would actually get a small kick out of running myself into the ground. Literally. I ended up having to completely give up on exercise to realize how much better life was when you weren’t constantly tired or in pain, and I think that helped me take a more balanced approach to it now. Love your new mantras — the playground one made me smile 🙂
Yes, I relate to getting a kick out of being exhausted or feeling like I “did more” than other people. Like it was a measure of my worth. That is really a terrible way to live and think! I really hope I’m past that in running and in life, because like you I realize how much happier I can be without that mentality!
Tina’s post really resonated with me too. I’ve been beating myself up lately for not “pushing harder” but like you I’m tired of constantly being in pain – makes running way too stressful and takes away the joy of the run. I like your new mantras – good luck with your NYCM training!
Thank you1 And I 100 % agree, that mentality just makes life exhausting and HARD when there’s no value in it whatsoever. Even if we get a kick out of it at first, it doesn’t last, and running is much better when the pressure is off.
I’ve totally had the mindset of “that wasn’t painful/I don’t feel totally dead so I didn’t work hard enough” which is not okay. I used to run all my runs as hard as I could because I liked seeing the fastest numbers possible. The thought of allowing myself to run an 8+ minute mile was absurd. Why do that when I know I can run faster. And all of this led to injury. Now I really enjoy those easy runs. I’m getting the miles in, but more importantly I’m letting my muscles recovery efficiently and in a healthy way. It’s so hard to step away from always wanting to push ourselves to letting our bodies relax and recover the way we need them to.
That approach really can’t last, I’ve been there! In the moment though it seems to make sense and it’s hard to think long term, when you haven’t see the crash and burn part yet! It gets easier to step away from that mentality when you see how harmful it can be, but yet it can creep back in, so I need the reminders.
Your new mantras show you are in a much healthier place now-that’s great!
Usually for me-I’m sore after a hard workout. I know when I’ve pushed it too much and I’ll take it extra easy the next day. With speedwork, I think I do better when I’m really pushing myself. Yes, that can mean it hurts, but I know it’s all in the name of improvements and obtaining the goals that I’ve set. I would never want to feel that speedwork pain on a daily basis though.
You work hard but you have a healthy approach, and I think the fact that you haven’t been injured really speaks to how you train!
I’ve definitely had a harder time easing up during my IBD flare but running and working out in general makes me sane. A lot of people have commented on me complaining about being exhausted due to the anemia yet running and honestly – I will choose a run over night out any day because that is what keeps me balanced. I will totally forgo social obligations to work up a sweat.
On the other hand though true physical injuries will keep me in check. When I had a stress fracture I was in no way going to risk further injury by going back to soon or doing too much. I am okay with looking at the big picture and willing to wait that out vs rush back and injure more.
I think when you’re running truly easy and not pushing through an injury or running to escape life, running can totally be a healthy outlet and a great way to destress. You are definitely smart about drawing the line when you recognize an injury. The ability to see the big picture and make wise choices is key!
It’s funny you say this because I often feel like I have less motivation on days my runs are supposed to be easy. Or when the weather is nice. This is a great post and thanks for sharing. I’m glad I’m not alone!
Glad you related to the post Hollie, thanks!
I loved reading all this! Thanks for your honesty. I’ve always been quite a lazy runner. I mean, I log a lot of miles but for the most part they’ve just been junk miles. Miles to help me sweat out my stress and come back clear-headed. It’s only been lately that I’ve started incorporating the “painful” runs like track work, tempo runs, etc. I don’t think I’ll ever be addicted to painful runs. I really hate them, but man have they improved my fitness! I can see how people can get into that mindset though, where they really want to *feel* the pain. Maybe it matches emotional pain and it’s easier to process if it is transferred into physical pain. *shrug*. I could talk about this all day!
I think I just wanted to exhaust myself and I felt like pushing limits would make me “the best” or “worthy” or whatever. It was BS and I was struggling at the time. Even though I can recognize it I know I still have the tendency to run through being sick or twinges for fear of going off plan and not doing my best in the race. I need to let go, it’s time!
I can definitely relate to this – when I was growing up, I felt this way about ballet and gymnastics (and probably a lot of other things). If I wasn’t achieving what I should, whether that be making it to a particular ballet summer intensive program, or moving up to the next level by perfecting a skill on the beam, then what was the point? I also stuck with things way longer than I should have because I felt like I was in too deep, and that I would be a failure for walking away. I realize now that it’s never a failure to walk away because you realize you just don’t enjoy doing a certain activity anymore. It’s a success, because you can move on to something better. When I started running I vowed I was never going to want to run to win any races (not that I could!) but more than that, not to set PRs, or make certain time goals. And I’ve kept on loving it because of that 🙂
I was this way too growing up with various activities, it’s definitely part of my personality and it comes up in many areas. I also totally relate to sticking with things too long, and for all the reasons you mention! Thankfully I’ve also come to these realizations that it’s not worth it to push that way AT ALL! I love the non competitive mentality you have toward running, and that’s exactly where I want to be in my head when approaching training.
Oh how I love and appreciate this post. I love your mantras! My mantras right now are something like “gentle, joyful, thank you legs, thank you body!!!” I’m grateful everyday I can move. Yes I’ve definitely moved away from embracing all the pain and feel much better. What I’m doing now is challenging but not painful like it used to. Can’t ask for more, just grateful for each day 🙂 thank you!
I love those mantras too! We are definitely on the same page Danielle, thank you for your thoughts on this 🙂
I wrote a post about why I don’t push through the pain because I’ve done it too many times and it can be really dangerous! I ended up with a stress fracture while I was exercising myself out of control because I wasn’t actually listening to my body. Glad to see you’ve got a good outlook on things!
I think many of us can relate to that urge to push, and then we all learn it can’t last! Or at least many of us learn, putting it into practice is tough but a ton more rewarding than any of the pain.
No pain no gain was definitely one of my old mantras! While it is important to sometimes push yourself in order to gain that momentum and motivation, it doesn’t have to be that, well, horrible sounding. I totally see your passion and love for running when you talk about it, and it even excites me to hear about your endeavors :).
I think drawing the line between pushing enough and too much is a hard one for me, I’ve faced it in many areas of my life over and over again since I was a kid. It’s all a learning process I guess, thanks for your thoughts on this 🙂
Tina’s posts are the best! I’m also guilty of the ‘no pain, no gain’ mentality but through the years I’m learning to be lind kind to myself and my body. Our bodies are incredible and get us through so many adventures, so they deserve a break to rebuild every now and again. I love your mantras! It’s amazing how smiling through an uncomfortable situation can shift your mindset! 🙂
Yes, for all we put our bodies through they absolutely deserve to be treated well. I agree that smiling really can shift your thoughts to the positive 🙂
I love this perspective. I don’t think I’ve ever had a “no pain, no gain” mentality, but I definitely do struggle with taking races too seriously and forgetting to enjoy them. I hadn’t read Tina’s blog before so thank you for sharing. The thoughts that go through my head during runs tend to be more of wagers than mantras, but its a good reminder to keep everything positive. We are so lucky to have bodies that allow us to run, we might as well enjoy every minute of it!
I definitely will need my own reminders, and Tina’s to keep things positive during my training! You are so right about us being lucky our bodies work. I never want to take my health for granted.
I always feel like Tina’s peeking into my mind as well! While I set goals, I focus on never leaving it all in one workout or even one race. I want to still be running when I’m 80 so treating my body well and focusing on recovery helps achieve that.
If I’m still running when I’m 80, well I hope I’m not still worrying about following a training plan 😉 I do share that hope though, of being able to run for life and I don’t want to put a lot of pressure on one race. When I’ve done that, it hasn’t turned out well!
YES! I have been dealing with this a lot lately too. It’s not about how fast I can do my training runs, or how many miles I log in a week. Running is what I love to do, it doesn’t define me. One bad run or race is not the end of the world. Tina’s post was spot on yesterday and yours really hit home for me today!
So glad you related! And I agree spot on with every word of your comment. We all have to learn this I think, but it takes time and experience for it to really sink in.
I did gymnast for years and years as a kid, all the way through high school and so often we had to push through pain or work out on an ankle that was still sore, only now wrapped in tape, whether we wanted to or not. Now as an adult, I love a good kick ass workout, even when it leaves me sore the next day, but I say no to pain. That gives me no pleasure and usually is detrimental to the next day’s workout.
For me exercise is simply about feeling good about myself and letting go of the day’s frustrations. Some days I need and others I feel great as is.
I love your new mantras.
Fellow former gymnast! Yay! Or not yay, because I relate to the pain and taping and all of that. There was one point where my hamstring and lower back were both pulled, and I was taping both my ankles and wrists, insane! I was super stubborn and determined even way back then and clearly that mentality carried over into running. I am slowly coming around to the mentality that you have now, I love your approach, it’s very inspiring!
Thank you so much for opening up to me about your journey and your new mantra, which I love! At one point I have definitely struggled with this with not only exercise, but with food. It stemmed from me not being happy with myself, and the pain was control and the only thing I felt I could control. But now training hard and eating well is pain free and FUN, because life is too short to be in pain all the time. Have a great weekend friend!
When you’re stuck in hat mindset it’s really hard to see past it so I totally get how it starts taking over all aspects of life. Glad you’re in a better place now, and yes, life is too short and precious to be in pain!
Was your overtraining ever driven by a desire to keep your weight low?
Not during this particular period of time. I dealt with body and weight insecurities in the past – mainly high school – but this period was hyper-focused on gaining aerobic endurance and speed as well as the fear of losing what Id gained. I was preoccupied with feeling powerful, and it related to health problems my daughter was having at the time which I’ve written about on the blog (search scoliosis) so, instead of trying to control my weight I developed a fear of losing fitness.
WOW i am so glad i read this today ! i seriously got back from a vaca with a friend who lives a very different life than i do and is one of those people who things just sort of go right for her all the time. She always makes me think and i got home last night and had a long convo with my boyfriend about how i am the type of person who things always seem to come hard for. i always have to work harder and push through the pain (i even used those words). i feel uncomfy if things come easy to me or if i just do things for the sake of doing them and not because i have a goal in mind. mind you…i am better than i used to be and i do see slow progress in some areas but not as much as i would like. i wondered last night…maybe things dont always have to be so hard…maybe the path of least resistance is ok to take from time to time. what movie is it where they talk about the “hard makes it worthwhile” and the “hard is why not everyone does it”, etc ? a league of their own i think ???? that was sort of what i lived by though i dont think i knew it for a long time. i love your mantras. i love that you know this is your dream race and why muck it up with to much pain and drama. and hey…who says you can’t have a freaking unicorn and rainbow from time to time ? thank you for sharing this on here. its very inspiring !
I definitely feel like we have a lot in common with the messages we soaked in growing up. I also loved a League of their own and I know exactly what part you’re talking about! I have lived that way too and recently have been conflicted as to whether or not that approach is valuable or is serving me. Not all great things need to be hard, right? Definitely a lot to think about! For now, I’m going to ride my unicorn at least until NYC is over. I would totally regret it later on if I didn’t!