Food is not JUST fuel, and frankly I don’t think it should be either.
I am not endorsing emotional eating. Oh wait, I sort of am, but let me explain before I take you through my day of food and emotions.
Emotional eating gets a bad rap because we think of it taken to the extreme, as with eating disorders of all types, and we forget that we are born emotional eaters. Have you spent time around babies and toddlers much? Food is comfort, security, and often relief from anxiety. Yes, we take that to an extreme in our culture and I don’t think THAT is healthy. But aiming to have no emotions around food and view it purely as fuel for the body might not be healthy either.
Allowing ourselves to have “food feelings” is one of the keys to a healthy relationship with food, I believe.
I’m linking up for What I Ate Wednesday today, and as always, thank you so much for hosting this Jenn!
I’m going to walk through my day (this was Sunday) and go through some of the emotions experienced around meals and snacks. I chose the topic after reflecting a little bit on Sunday night about how I was a bit more food “angsty” than usual due to it being the last day of the holiday break. Something about Sundays I suppose.
I did an hour of yoga early in the morning and felt pretty awesome as a result. I wanted something sweet, filling, and comforting to mesh with my happy morning feelings. See? Emotional eating is not always negative. Interestingly I think we sometimes choose foods we think will enhance or match current emotions. I don’t often make sweeter breakfasts but when I do, it seems to be a weekend thing. This was pre-roasted and then sauteed kabocha squash with sauteed apples, U.S. Wellness Meats Pork Breakfast Sausage and 2 eggs.
Lunch is usually my least “emotional” meal of the day, regardless of what day it is. I am usually in full swing with my day and genuinely hungry once I make myself something so it really does feel mostly fuel-like. I supposed “tired” does not count as an emotion, but I was feeling sort of tired at this point on Sunday. This was grass fed ground beef cooked with zucchini, over spinach and half an avocado, topped with green onions. In a green bowl, just to continue the green theme I guess 😉
My snack around 2:30-3pm was filled with more angst than lunch. I had plans to go ice skating with my daughter and her friend, and I was feeling tired and unmotivated, plus I was thinking of everything I had to do after I got home (cooking, making lunches, laundry) and I was overwhelmed. I wasn’t really hungry but felt I should eat before I left. This was one of those “nothing seems right” snacks. The second half of my avocado from lunch didn’t feel like enough. The banana topped it off. And the kombucha? This is now my answer to that old diet soda craving. I justify that it’s healthier, but I can’t deny that I use this stuff to boost my mood. And it works 🙂
Got through ice skating! Nobody fell and my daughter had a great time, what a relief. Now on to tackle the evening. Sunday nights are better for me now than they used to be, but I still get a little bit of that “Sunday blues” feeling left over from years ago when there was homework to do and a week of school or work ahead. I made a simple dinner of fried sweet Italian sausages (store made, without any additives or sugar) roasted red potatoes and collard greens. Not gonna lie, I am kind of a lunatic while trying to get all my kids’ meat cut up and get them to help set the table. I yell, I’m not calm.
By the time I sit down to eat I’m also just kind of praying no one will cry and refuse to eat or throw a tantrum. Not my best time of day. Luckily everyone likes this, and really that was one of the reasons I made it. Protecting everyone’s emotions is sometimes my dinner strategy when I’m feeling weak.
Honestly, I wasn’t super hungry for dinner but I’m sort of a “plate cleaner” and when my son didn’t want my last few bites of sausage, I ate them anyway. I’m okay with being a plate cleaner 😉
This was my exhausted attempt at a sweet Sunday night dessert. I was tired, my mood was “eh” and I was craving a final something sweet before welcoming Monday morning. About a handful of chopped dates and a little dark chocolate. I am really not used to eating sweets and this was actually a bit too sweet for me, I haven’t eaten dates by themselves in a while but they really taste like candy. It was satisfying enough and I finished my night off with some water from the only bottle I ever drink water from. I don’t drink enough water and I’m always trying to make up for this at night.
Overall I’d say this day had a few more food feelings than typically, but they are still occurring on a daily basis. I look to food to pick up my mood along with my energy during the parts of the day I tend to struggle. I am also pretty certain I will always be a “plate cleaner” which I used to see as a problem but it’s just the way I like to roll. Not to mention I have an idea of the amount I like to eat and put that amount on my plate. Duh.
What’s your take on food as fuel and food and emotions?
Are you a “plate cleaner” or do you always stop when you’re full?
Are certain times of day/certain meals more emotional for you?
Do you think emotional eating is bad, good, or neither?
Hi! I'm Michele. Paleo eater and recipe creator, runner, and mom of 3. Welcome to my blog, where we obsess over all of it and love every minute! (It's way fun over here, promise.) Stay a while to eat, run, and rant with me! 
I am definitely a plate cleaner- at least when I eat at home.Thats probably because like you said I know how much to put on my plate?But when I eat out I don’t usually clean my plate. My meals aren’t very emotional since they are all planned. Sometimes breakfast is base more on how I am feeling but everything else I feel like I don’t really have a choice. I don’t think all emotional eating is bad, as long as you don’t use it as a way to avoid dealing with your feelings or as a way to cope!
Completely agree, the problems come when it functions as a way to avoid and deny feelings!
Ha – my friend and I are always a step ahead and thinking (dreading) the later in the day routine of laundry, cooking, cleaning, preparing and those “bewitching” hours of praying no one cries or throws some sort of fit…I am absolutely an emotional eater in the sense that food is fuel plus enjoyment – I will never give up celebrating with a good meal, a great dessert or eating some chocolate because I feel like it not because I am super hungry….Lots of times lunch is that meal for me where it’s fuel because I am really hungry and need to fill a bottomless pit.
So true with lunch, there’s no time for feelings at lunch time! You have a great approach to food, enjoy it because it’s enjoyable, makes total sense.
for me the ONLY thing that works is INTUITIVE EATING.
That’s awesome and happy you feel content with food 🙂
I think emotionally eating is different for everyone and it changes over time. Me for example I used to over eat all the time to make myself feel happy. Then I went through a phase of not eating enough because I was depressed. It’s something I have to be careful about which is why meal planning is huge for me so that I stay in the middle of both extremes.
Meal planning is great for those who tend toward emotional eating in a bad way, as long as the plan does not involve restriction. I haven’t experienced the opposite side of lacking appetite due to anxiety or depression, but great point because that is something not spoken about as much, but really important!
I’m a plate cleaner, but not really an emotional eater. I just tend to eat if something is in front of me. That said, I also eat for pleasure. So a bit of emotion, but I”m not all like, I GOT A RAISE LET ME EAT A CAKE. I think, like everything in life, there is the mental/emotional component that needs to be balanced with the physical component to eating. Otherwise, you are just going through motions, or you are just taking it to the face.
Got a raise let me eat a cake 🙂 that’s funny, actually sounds like a good idea!
I could not agree with this more! Food should be a part of life we enjoy! After all we have to eat every day. It should make you happy!
So true, and it’s tough and unnatural to completely separate food and feelings, so why strive to?
I love your description of getting ready for dinner. I have one and a half year old twins and every night when I get dinner all ready for them, I am just praying that they eat it. Sometimes they throw it on the floor before I have even sat down!
Oh I am totally with you on that feeling and have been for years! They are older so it’s gotten better, I also stopped making different meals for everyone which was driving me nuts! Think of me the next time dinner winds up on the floor 🙂
I think eating is more emotional for me when I don’t meal plan and prep ahead. Meal planning has helped SO much with that, because I know what to expect in advance and it just works. I do sometimes give in to the feeling of just being too tired and we will do takeout- but even then we do healthy stuff 🙂
I am not a plate cleaner though. I have it down to where I know about how much everyone is going to eat so we actually rarely have leftovers or food left on the plate. Except with the 3 y/o- but one of the other kids will usually take her little leftovers lol!
Same with my 3 year old! He either doesn’t eat anything or wants seconds, kind of annoying and unpredictable 🙂 meal planning is great for those who tend toward excessive emotional eating and feel better with a plan.
YES. Food is so much more than fuel. It’s apart of our culture and traditions. It nourishes our body and soul. It’s in our everyday life and we shouldn’t be so afraid of it. Everything in moderation!
Agree with it all! Our grandmas and great grandmas knew this well! Food can be such a comfort and joy, but our culture has become fearful of the pleasure in food, which can lead to really unhealthy relationships with food, our bodies, etc
Thanks for admitting that you are a human mother and yell at your kids:) Again, I think you are super on target with this post. I do think emotional eating has gotten such a bad rap, but mostly cause it is another label that people can give themselves and thereby use as an excuse. I friggin hate labels (emotional eater, addictive personality–bleh…I spit on labels).
Yes, I was super emotional yesterday at work when the copier jammed about 17 times while I was trying to get things ready for a big workshop later this week. I ate two pieces of chocolate. I didn’t have to have a box. Food is awesome. It has always been part of celebrations, frustrations, even mourning in our society. The key has always been restraint…
I LOVE WIAW. Again, I am new to this blog, but I look forward to Wednesday:)
I am a label hater as well! I used to work as a clinical social worker and I’ve thought about then issue a lot. Agree with all that you said, food and emotions go together, naturally, and that is okay!
Big time emotional eater here, haha! I tend to have the food is fuel philosophy for breakfast/lunch/afternoon but come dinner I sometimes splurge a little too much. For me it’s the excitement of having some relax time with my husband (which for several years our schedules didn’t allow) and I go into celebration mode! I do have it mostly under control but I definitely believe it’s natural eat emotionally from time to time or really, when u think about it— all day as you pointed out!
I think so many people can relate to that celebration mode as you describe, I know after the kids went to bedtime husband and I used to go to town on ice cream while hanging out watching tv. Now I still have a snack although I’m usually not super hungry or anything, but it just feels right 🙂
I think it’s impossible – at least for me – to not have emotions with food because cooking and eating food is something I love. But I am SUCH an I-eat-because-I’m-bored eater (I think desk jobs will do this to you), which I don’t think is a good thing. Lately I’ve been trying to really think about the food I’m eating while I’m eating it — where it came from and the process it went through to get to my plate (If I’m eating a piece of fruit, I picture it on the tree it came from, etc.) It sounds really weird but it helps me eat more intuitively rather than out of boredom, and helps me pick less-processed foods–because thinking of that process is really gross!
That’s an interesting approach! I think if it helps you slow down and savor, as well as make healthy choices it’s a great thing.
I’m a “plate cleaner” for sure. But by now, I know how much my body wants before hand and just cook/make that amount. I’m pretty good with knowing my ques. And of course food/eating is emotional! It’s social and a whole special experience! It just shouldn’t be abused or taken to the extreme. That’s where we find the problems!
Yes, agree there can be problems when it becomes about avoiding feelings and real life. To have a healthy relationship with food, there has to be some room for feelings though as well 🙂
Great topic. I love food and while it is fuel, for sure, it is also pleasure. I think there is nothing better than enjoying your favorite foods or a meal out. Wait–even better is enjoying a meal with friends. I think that’s very healthy, both emotionally and physically.
Totally agree! To be able to view it in both ways is really important for a healthy food relationship, I believe.
Wow! I found this totally fascinating. I totally agree that food SHOULD be emotional in a good way. It’s like anything, you just need to be aware and mindful – mistakes are all part of the game.
I also agree about lunch being the least emotional and most “utilitarian” meal. I think I’m most happy and positive with breakfast.
Thanks for sharing about such an interesting topic.
I’m also most happy and positive with breakfast, and it may be because I’m a natural morning person! Lunch is definitely that “just feed me” meal.
I pretty much devoted last year to changing my emotional eating habits. Now, I still eat what I crave (your body does that on purpose), but I don’t eat until I’m bursting and I eat below 1700 calories a day. Before I was eating over 2000 without exercise. Not so great. I also make better choices about portions and replace certain awful things with foods that are a little better. The difference between this January and last? Oh, about 25 lbs, less soreness, more energy… the list is endless.
In short, emotional eating can definitely get out of hand. But eating what you crave is necessary because your body knows when it needs certain vitamins to operate. There are tons of charts bouncing around the internet that translate what you’re craving into healthy choices (here’s a good example: http://ahealthykitchen.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Cravings-Chart.jpg). I’ve found them pretty helpful.
Thanks for sharing this post!
Thanks for the resources! I think many can benefit from that sort of thing. So true that it can be easy to slide into a place where food becomes a way to numb emotions or completely avoid them along with difficult situations. It’s really almost too easy to do with all the delicious food so readily available, and well, good ‘ol life being tough like it tends to be!
I have a hard time with the “food is fuel” idea because it is not just fuel! It is sooooo much more. Plus I too often see athletes overcompensating when “food is fuel” because they feel they “earned” this or that from their workouts.
Loved how you are making “emotional eating” something we can look at with a positive light. (:
Good point about athletes, ironically “food is fuel” is often a mask for the opposite – wanting to justify emotional eating. Not saying it’s always this way, but it can be. It’s okay not to be a machine! We are human and food and feelings have been linked for a long time, and for good reason. Rather than fighting it, makes more sense to work on our overall emotional well being along with physical health, and of course, gives ourselves a break sometimes 🙂
That’s awesome that you survived ice skating, it sounds fun but I totally understand how overwhelming it is when you’re running around with tons to do. I’m happy that nobody fell, that would be my biggest focus lol.
Emotional eating for me is just every day life. I mean, I always tend to go for what I’m in the mood for whether it’s simething I’m craving, or just something to keep my blood sugars evened out. It’s hard for me to detach food from emotions, and this liberates me! I love my cravings and have become interested and fascinated by them. Yesterday I was pressed for time and had no appetite for breakfast, but created a smoothie that tasted so pleasing I ended up craving it after each bite. It was not sweet and very rich, and elevated my emotions from blah to zing 🙂 and yes, I clean my plate because I like my food and serve it up for me. Boom! Happy happy Wednesday Michele!!
I really love your approach to food Danielle! Every time you comment it makes me love food a little bit more 🙂 Seriously though, you have such a healthy attitude toward it and I’m sure your body, mind and soul thank you!
OMG im totally a plate cleaner. and a bag emptier if thats a thing ? like open a bag of potato chips must finish as if its my job. its from childhood i think ? ive tried using more bowls and small plates to help me. i’m a total volume eater. i am with you lunch is not emotional but thats probably because i pack my lunch every day for work so i basically have no choice what to eat and eat at my desk most everyday.
and im totally jealous that that dessert was to sweet for you ! i sorta polished off a bunch of hershey kisses the other day and was thinking they barely made a dent in my sweet tooth. no good. BUT in the spirit of not comparing myself to others a la your post yesterday…..im just on my own sweeter path : )
Haha my husband does that with bags too, although we have less snack bags now so it’s improved 🙂 And lol, whatever sweets path you are on is fine! And I used to devour pints of ice cream at night like it was nothing before paleo, my tastes have completely changed 🙂
I think there is a definite tie to our emotions and food. I eat more when I am happy but when I am depressed or anxious I eat very little. I use kombucha as a pick me up too. 🙂
There is just something about that kombucha! Thanks for bringing up the lack of appetite that often comes with depression/anxiety. So relevant to many people.
Hi Michelle! I like this! And I agree with you. I actually like to celebrate things with special foods, and I always seek warm comfort food when I need it. And when you’re in a rush? Sometimes that means more packaged then you would like. Overall, food is definitely connected to other things in our lives. Thanks for sharing your day and glad it all ended up okay. 🙂
Glad you relate! We are human and food is definitely more than just fuel, as much as some people claim it can be, it just doesn’t work that way in real life for most people and that’s okay 🙂
I’m a plate cleaner when I’m at home because I can prepare the amount of food I’m hungry for–and i’ve gotten pretty good at knowing what portions I need. At restaurants it all depends on the portion size and how good the dish is:)
I’m the same with restaurants, sometimes it seems like not nearly enough food (like the bunless burger) but sometimes there’s way too much. If there’s way too much good stuff though I’ll most likely be eating it 🙂
I think emotional eating is ONLY unhealthy when we don’t address our feelings, and stuff them down with a bag of potato chips, that things get unhealthy. I agree with Lauren, when I’m anxious/depressed I cannot make myself eat. But when i’m comfortable and happy I join that clean plate club pretty quick 😉
So true, like when focusing on what to eat takes the focus off of real feelings in real life. Sometimes food is just too enjoyable not to clean that plate!
For me, food is enjoyment, coupled with a side of fuel. If that makes me an emotional eater, then so be it. I can super excited for my meals, for what I could dream up next in the kitchen, for how I can change those leftovers in something else. I look to it as fuel, enjoyment, comfort, release, and I wouldn’t change that for anything.
Sundays I get all kinds of anxious too and it’s because I have to go back to the work the next day. That can’t be good right?
I would think so many people feel the same, and how could they not, with food being so awesome and all! I think the Sunday blues are almost more of a habit for me now than anything else. Kind of like being happy on a Friday when I have no real reason to be happy!
I definitely have a complex relationship with food 🙂
But for me, my mantra is what I call “intentional eating” – nothing is ‘bad’ or off limits, but OWN what you eat, no mindless snacking … Actually take ownership of what goes into your mouth.
I am generally a plate cleaner for the reasons you and Lisa mentioned – learning portion control. But when I don’t like what is on my plate? For example my mother sent us some South Carolina sweet potato biscuit mix we put into chicken and dumplings … And it was bad, way too much nutmeg and just messed with the meal. It was OK when we cooked, but as leftovers … Well, I did what I could to eat around it and tossed the rest in the trash.
Eating involves all of our senses, so there is no way it cannot be emotional to some extent, and just as we know a certain piece of music transports us, so does food. That can be good or bad (still haven’t eating a peanut butter m&m for 3 years now), but it is real. It is always important to be mindful of the emotions behind the eating … Which gets me back to intentional eating.
Great topic … Makes you think!
Eating something you don’t like at all is the worst feeling! I occasionally get annoyed enough when I mess something up that I eat it anyway in a “bad” emotional way even though I don’t like it, but that’s more about my disappointment with putting time into cooking.
I like the idea of owning what you put in your mouth, whatever the reason is that it’s going there! Like even if you are completely eating for emotions, just allow it to be what it is and hopefully enjoy it as much as possible.
Also for people with a long history of emotional eating, completely avoiding trigger foods is a really good idea because they’re not adding anything positive to the experience of eating in general, like with the peanut butter m&ms I suppose.
You have some great thoughts on this subject, appreciate you sharing them 🙂
I’ve always put a negative connotation to emotional eating but you are absolutely right, thanks for pointing out the other way to look at it!! I love my kombucha too, wish it wasn’t so expensive!!
Yes, I wish every day kombucha were less $$! I keep saying I’m going to get a starter kit to make it on my own but haven’t yet.
In my old age (32 haha!) I’ve become less of a plate-cleaner than I used to be, I just hate feeling over stuffed these days! I used to just pack it all in regardless of if I was full or not. Somewhere along the way I stopped doing that, which is definitely for the best! I completely think there is an emotional aspect to food, that’s life! Food is fuel, yes, but certainly not JUST fuel. No way! It’s enjoyment too. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this!
Lol because I’m also 32 and often feel old 🙂 I agree I’m never in the mood to be overstuffed, but it takes quite a lot of food for me to get there too, especially if I’m running a lot! I have stopped eating leftover kid food. Actually I just wrap it up and save it to use the next day, which sounds gross but if they haven’t touched it I don’t mind! Glad you related to this 🙂