I seriously considered backing out of this race over the course of the two days leading up to it. And that’s saying a lot, because I’ve never before thought about NOT running a race I’d signed up for, even when I clearly shouldn’t have been running at all let alone racing. In case you missed it and want to find out more about why I wanted to back out, read this post here.
So let’s fast forward to after I decided to just go through with it. I woke up Sunday morning at 5:30 feeling okay but definitely not good since I’d had a cold since Friday and was just plain wiped out after a busy Saturday. Went to the bathroom, got dressed and ready to go including my pre-race fuel of a banana, energy blend and water. I stalked the weather report about 30 times before accepting that it wasn’t getting any better. My last hope was that with the 70’s temps and 95% humidity we would get some rain to cool off, but, the chance of rain had dipped to 30% and sun was in the forecast now. I went to grab my Garmin from the charger and it took me a full 5 minutes to come out of denial that it had not actually been charging all night and yes, it was completely dead. Fabulous. But I was probably better off really. I threw on a stopwatch and got it the car.
My plan had changed from running this race at around a 7:45 pace to “just run as fast as I can and finish alive.” In the back of my mind I always know that the tougher the run, the greater the relief afterwards and also the next several runs following the tough one always feel great. So that became my goal – let’s just see what I can do.
I ate my banana in the car along with some water and arrived at the parking lot nice and early. Parking was really close to the start with lots of signs so no issues there. I had gotten my bib # and was waiting around still with 45 minutes until the start. I like to be at races early but I always wind up timing my bathroom trips wrong. No matter how little water it seems like I drink relative to what I need, I inevitably have to pee more than logically makes sense. I never have to pee during my training runs. I think the later time (8:30 relative to 5:30) along with wanting to make sure I’m hydrated leads to this problem I’ve been having. I waited on the bathroom line twice hoping to avoid it but with 10 minutes to go until race start I realized I had to go again and there was no time and huge lines (never understand how so many people wait for bathrooms with 2 minutes to go. Don’t they know they won’t make it?) So I had to pee right at the start. Fail #1.
I lined up right between the 7 and 8 minute/mile pace markers at the start since I was really wanting to stay in the 7’s but pretty sure I’d wind up in the 8s. With no Garmin I’d just be going on feel and random glances at my watch along with the time clocks at each mile. I don’t know my exact pace but the first 3 miles felt good. I’m thinking 7:40ish average but it could have been a bit faster. It was super humid and I was beginning to feel the heat at that point but it wasn’t slowing me down yet. I noticed that they were only handing out water every 2 miles which did not thrill me though.
Okay at 4 miles I really had to pee. It sucked. I was looking around for bathrooms and there were none in sight. All I remember from miles 4-6 was genuinely considering figuring out how to pee on myself. Somewhere between mile 6 and 7 I realized I didn’t even have the muscle control to do that, so I set out to go in whatever bathroom I saw next.
Luckily there was a porto-john with a halo around it and my name on it right on the course at mile 7. It just always amazes me how attractive those things look when you really need one. No matter how bad the race got after that I had one thing to remind myself – I ALMOST (but did not, thank you stars) dropped my car key directly in the toilet with no bottom. I keep all my belongings in the pockets of my shorts, and, when you pull them up really quickly things can fall out. I never learn my lesson on this one!
So I probably lost up to a minute peeing. But I was moving on, underwear twisted somewhere under my compression shorts and chafing my thigh, but I felt good for about 5 minutes after that stop. And then I realized that even though I had taken care of one thing, I still had between 5 and 6 miles to go and I wasn’t keeping my pace anymore. I had stopped at every water stop so far but it wasn’t enough. By mile 9 I estimated my pace was somewhere in the 8:15-8:30 range but I’m really not sure. I just wanted the whole thing to be over.
Somewhere around mile 9-10 I started feeling chills. When it’s really hot and I get the chills it’s the first sign that I’m dehydrated and not able to cool myself properly. Okay it also means I probably should have drank more of the water that I dumped over my head. Oops. Either way I was struggling. My legs were moving but it had gotten warmer and we were running in full sun now and every part of it felt BAD!
This really could have been a nice run – you run around Liberty State Park and get all the best views of NYC and as I ran past all of it all I could think was get me the f!@$ out of here. Such a shame it was!
The last 3 miles were all mind games trying to get myself pumped to finish. It really wasn’t until I could tell myself I had 1 mile left that I actually felt like I would ever finish this race. I feel like my pace increased over the last mile and I realized I was actually passing people which I doubt was happening earlier. I find it funny that no matter how much pain you’re in, when you tell yourself “last push” (this works in childbirthing too) it somehow seems bearable and you even get a second wind. The brain is some amazing machinery!
My stop-watch finish time was 1:46:56, official chip time was 1:46:54 so very accurate.
I have to think that if I’d been wearing my Garmin it would have brought me down seeing my pace lag. I knew I slowed down over the course of the race, but, I also knew I was giving it my all the entire time and that was all I could do. I felt great after I finished. Got my shirt, drank water, walked to the parking lot, and, oh yeah, remembered I had to walk up 5 flights of stairs to my car. Dynamic stretching I called it. Actually didn’t feel bad at all after that run.
And then I ate a bunch of food in the car and drove at least 15 minutes in the wrong direction before I was finally on my way home. I was totally in “race brain” mode and probably shouldn’t have been driving at all. But I didn’t just say that. I’m a good driver, really 🙂
Woof, what a race and what an experience! Still, sometimes we need races like that to remind us of what we need to remember to do for next time.
And I’m glad you are a good driver 😉
The bad ones make the good ones even better, for sure!
Wow, way to push through. Racing can be a humbling experience sometimes. You just never know what your body is going to do on race day. Glad you finished and finished standing!
Thanks! Racing can definitely be humbling and one of those tough learning experiences, which is why I seem to continue to go back even when I say I need a break!
Killer time! I would have requested to be carried up those stairs.
If anyone had been around I might have asked, or at least hinted!
Ugh it just sounds like one of those days and one of those races! I’m glad you are moving on and not dwelling on it – I think that shows the sign of a true athlete. I had to read my mom the last part of this post because she thought I was a psycho after my race on Saturday – had to show her that race brain is totally a thing!
Race brain is so real! The tougher the race the worse it is! And thanks!
Awesome time! After my marathon it took me twenty minutes to walk to my car because I could hardly lift my legs!
Ashley @ KickAshMom.com
Full marathons are another thing entirely! I spend 10 minutes literally lying down and sometimes crying after a marathon!
Nice! Way to tough it out 🙂 Reading all the race recaps lately is giving me the itch to sign up for something.
Even a recap like mine? The funny thing is sometimes it’s the really tough ones that motivate me to sign up for another. Go for it!
Congrats! Your pace would be really fast for me. And sometimes, really, just finishing is the accomplishment.
Definitely, finishing and knowing you gave it all you had should really be what it’s about, regardless of numbers!
Good for you to get through that race! When I have felt awful on a run/race, it has helped me so much on future runs/races. When I’m out there feeling healthy, nothing hurting or aching, I just think “thank you so much for not letting me feel as awful as THAT other time.” Makes you grateful! I’m sorry you had to endure but it sounds like you are proud of yourself and you definitely should be 🙂
The bad ones really do help make the good ones better, both because of a shift in perspective and also learning what NOT to do! It sucked but I actually feel good about it now 🙂
You had a great time even with stopping to pee and not feeling great throughout the race. Way to push through! I can not imagine waking up and not having my Garmin be charged. I depend on that thing so much.
Thanks! I depend on it less now than a few months ago, which is probably why I was lax in checking that it was charging! Still I wasn’t happy about that!
You still did great despite the conditions! I woke up Monday morning so angry about how great the weather was and why Sunday had to be so sucky. I PR’d the heck out of that course 2 years ago and am hoping next year the weather cooperates more because I do like it. My garmin conked out about 15 miles into my 20 that day, so I was not amused, darn technology.
I know, so funny how the next day would have been perfect. I may still go back to the race next year hoping for a better day!
Once those negative thoughts creep into my head during a race, they over take the whole experience. It happened once to me and I never let it happen again. Our mind can run away with us and ruin our whole performance. No difference then a wondering one that can keep us up all night. Your a real athlete so this one time is just that “one time.” Your to accomplished as a runner to even dwell. Glad you moved on.
Thanks! Running is completely mental and our thoughts can really control the direction we take in a race or training run. Good stuff to remember!
Congrats on your race! so happy you decided to go for it even though it was not ideal, but you still got it done and remarkably well despite your reservations. I’m just catching up on your posts after being out of the country, but so happy you survived your race.
I laughed about you driving the opposite direction, I have done that SOOOO many times, yes it race brain!!! not alone 🙂
Good to know I’m not the only one who noticed the race brain. After a tough race I feel like a really loopy version of myself or sometimes not like me at all. Very glad I survived too!
What a race and what an experience! Good for you for powering through the day despite the obstacles.
Thanks 🙂 hoping to feel stronger this coming week!
Aww Michele I’m sorry that it was craptastic weather-it’s bizarre how hot and humid it was for you! I think you did great!! I lol’d about ten times from the porta potties to the halo and the “dynamic stretches”,
You crack me up! I still think you are going to do sensational in your marathon! 🙂
Thanks! Glad you have confidence in me I can definitely use some 🙂
Great race recap. Love that you keep it ‘real’. That race is right in my backyard, but I have never done it. The timing is always off for me, but maybe next year.
I may do it again next year hoping for a nicer day 🙂
Great results despite less than ideal circumstances. Way to push through!
Thank you!
Great job!! I’m glad you didn’t drop your keys 🙂
Oy yes me too! Thanks!
Great job pushing through. If nothing else I’m learning during this training cycle that you can’t base your progress off one run. There have been any times where I get down on myself and then need to look at he big picture. Also, yesterday I ran most of the Baltimore half course which is the race I’ll be doing to see my progress in a few weeks, and now that I have relived those hills again I am doubting myself more than ever. It’s just important to keep everything in perspective:) plus on the bright side you did not drop your keys into the toilet!
Ha! I know, when I told my husband about that he really couldn’t even hear that that almost happened! It’s SO hard to look at the big picture with training I’m finding. I guess when the pressure is on the doubt feels stronger. We will get through it! This training cycle seems like it may be the toughest for me mentally thus far!