It’s been 3 days (4 by the time you read this) of no running or other cardio and I surprisingly feel no different than I ever do at this point of the week.
What did I expect to feel? I think I expected to feel more tired, sluggish, possibly less stressed (I hoped), maybe a little achy from not moving as much, I don’t know. But really nothing has changed at all, except I have a bit more time while Drew’s in school (when I’m normally squeezing in yoga) to screw around on the internet or take longer in the grocery store. Just being honest. And still hoping the “less rushed” feeling works for me in some way that I’m just not seeing yet.
Of course like any “mildly obsessed” runner, I am asking myself randomly throughout the day “do you miss running yet?” and the answer is still “No, and shut up. You’re missing the point.” I guess the whole point of this is to just TAKE A FREAKING BREAK from running, which also includes thinking about running, planning runs or training, and thinking about how I’m NOT running. Well, you can see I’ve got the last one wrong since I’m thinking and writing about it now. Trying not to judge myself, but I guess I’m more than a little “curious” if the running bug will bite when I want this break to be over.
And with all this circular thinking you wonder why you still can’t sleep.
My sleep really hasn’t improved at all and it seems like my thoughts go into overdrive just when I want to wind down. I’m totally like a baby who “fights sleep” at bedtime and every nap. I actually think I might just need to discipline myself into an earlier bed time routine at this point, since I feel like I’m rebelling against it and staying up later because I KNOW it’s “wrong.” Yup, I just need to be mature about this one and do what I know will be best for me in the long run. I make my kids do it and I need to crack down on myself too!
I did start taking a supplement, but not Melatonin like I’d planned. The one I bought turned out to have 3g Maltitol (a sugar alcohol) per serving which I just can’t tolerate with my IBS. Instead, I picked up something else at my local health food store – MegaFood Dream Release which is a blend of Magnesium, Valerian Root, California Poppy Extract, Vervain Powder and Sensoril Ashwagandha. I’m always supplement-skeptical so maybe the placebo effect won’t work for me in this case, but I’m still hoping I’ll notice a difference, at least by the time I finish the bottle!
Speaking of skepticism (and my not-clever transition skills), I used to see the skeptic-by-nature thing in myself as a sort of negative that I wished I could “turn off” but was never successful in doing so. I now see that it doesn’t make me overly negative or paranoid (er, and if it does I don’t care anymore) and I’ve come to value this quality in myself since it helps me make pretty accurate assessments (at least it might, I am still skeptical of this assessment I just made.)
Sometimes I might dip into the spiral of paranoia (oh that’s fun), but, mostly I think being skeptical allows you to see what lies underneath the surface of everything – people, places, relationships, problems, kid stuff, things on the internet, etc. Combining skepticism with a good chunk of curiosity yields the best results for me. Skeptical doesn’t mean closed-minded-I’m right, rather, it means I-want-to-learn-more-about-this-because-it-looks/feels/seems-strange or too simple. And because I always want to learn more, period. Because the more I learn, the more there is to question, and the less sleep there is to be slept on any given night. Perfect.
Have you had enough of my thoughts? Me too, believe me I understand. Thanks Amanda for letting me air out some of these thoughts! And don’t worry, I’m putting them back in my head now where they belong 🙂
When was the last time you took a break from running/cardio? Did you still think about running?
What supplements do you take and do they help you?
Are you a skeptic by nature?