This is something I’ve been dreading writing. Not just because it’s embarrassing to talk about poop and all the other fun stuff that years of IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) involves, but because when I think about how it affected my life in the past, I realize it’s been a really emotional thing for me and was impacting parts of my life that I didn’t even realize at the time, or just accepted as part of what it was like to be me. Not until I started feeling so much better recently did I realize how much I really struggled with this.
I have to do the story in 2 parts, because it’s a long one that begins before I can remember. I’ll try to keep it as uncomplicated as possible and just stick with what can hopefully provide valuable information for people, or experiences that others may be able to relate to. Since I’ve never really talked about my IBS with anyone in real detail and certainly not in timeline form, it might get a little messy, no pun intended.
I also want to preface the story by telling you that the only diagnosis I have ever received from a medical doctor is “IBS” and “lactose intolerance” and because I’m feeling so much better after changing my diet, I am choosing not to go through any medical testing for celiac, gluten intolerance, or anything else. There may in fact have been other things I was dealing with in addition to IBS but I’m going with this diagnosis since it’s the only “official” one.
One of my first food memories is eating cheerios and “twig” cereal with apple juice in it. Can you see why this might have made an impact? My mom reports that at some point when I was a baby I developed persistent diarrhea, and my pediatrician diagnosed it as lactose intolerance and told my mom to stop giving me dairy, and to use lactase enzyme drops if I was going to have it. I remember being 2 or 3 and my mom telling me milk bothered my tummy and also that my dad had the same problem. I don’t remember having stomach pain, constipation, or diarrhea until I was older. By the time I was about 5 or 6 I could swallow the lactaid pills myself, and took them whenever I was going to eat any dairy, like pizza or ice cream.
When I was 6 or 7 I also started getting heartburn and reflux, bad enough that it would wake me up at night. My parents took me to a GI specialist who did a basic exam and said everything looked fine and that I should avoid apples and other fruits with a high sugar and acid content. Apples were my favorite but I remember avoiding them entirely, and also elevating my mattress to help the reflux. It definitely improved enough where it didn’t wake me up anymore.
In elementary school once I became more social I remember being worried about my stomach while on playdates and sleepovers. I always brought lactaid pills with me in case dairy was served (I don’t think food intolerances were talked about back then like they are today) and Immodium in case of diarrhea. Sometimes I would notice that my stomach was okay for a period of time and sometimes I would alternate constipation and diarrhea on and off for a period of time. In middle school my diet got pretty unhealthy with even more processed foods, fast food, candy, iced tea, and general “junk” food and I started getting really unpleasant episodes that eventually became a family joke (we’re strange, yes) with a term coined “explosive diarrhea.” As much as my family joked about this (my dad and sister were familiar with it too) it was terrible. An episode for me would start usually after I ate something – but nothing specifically junky necessarily and certainly not just dairy – and would begin with gripping pain all around my abdomen and back that would progress in intensity to stabbing, doubled over pain, followed by extreme urgency and finally, the explosive diarrhea. I might go 3-5 times before it was done with, and afterwards I’d feel nauseous, achy all over especially in my stomach, back and legs, and would stay that way for the rest of the day. I remember telling doctors about this and also telling them I was lactose intolerant and it was mainly disregarded. I also know that I wasn’t giving all the details, and, because this would only happen maybe twice a month randomly, it was easy enough to ignore.
Through middle school I also developed regular sinus pain and congestion and I’m not sure if any of it is related but I have a feeling it might be, since those symptoms have disappeared since eating Paleo as well. Since I never knew when an “episode” would strike I carried Imodium with me everywhere including school and friends houses. If my stomach felt off I would take it right away just to hopefully prevent bad things from happening. I eventually realized it wasn’t helping to do that because I would become constipated and then get terrible cramping and diarrhea once I didn’t take it. At that age my goal was just to avoid embarrassment so if it happened at home, that was okay with me.
In 10th grade I was learning about healthful eating in health class and decided to change the things I was eating to include more whole grains, veggies, fruit, etc. I immediately started getting terrible NEW symptoms – bloating and bad gas along with severe constipation. I definitely told my parents and my dad gave me fiber supplements and that just made things even worse. I don’t have clear memories of how those symptoms progressed but I became obsessed with how everything I ate affected my stomach. It was really psychologically unhealthy and I always felt frustrated and angry with myself for not understanding how and what to eat to make it better.
I was very self-critical and remember feeling “different” because none of my friends seemed to have any of the same problems as I did (of course I was 16 so I would’ve felt this way anyway probably.) It became a great source of shame for me which was another reason I tried to avoid talking about it and tried to deny it was a problem. On the weekends when I would eat junkier food like pizza, fries, whatever, I would have episodes in addition to the bloating, constipation and gas when I tried to eat healthy. There were a few times I remember desperately calling my dad to pick me up from my boyfriend’s house because I had to use the bathroom. That was just a little traumatic!!
The same symptoms continued on pretty regularly for the rest of high school and became worse in college, most likely due to the inclusion of alcohol in my diet as well as tons of diet soda. I also developed increasingly painful headaches that came on randomly as well. I remember calling my parents a couple of times because of bloody diarrhea, not sure what to do. I never saw a doctor for it and my dad, having dealt with all the same things himself, would assure me it was just an annoyance. I can’t blame him because I think he had given up on trying to figure out what the problem was for himself and accepted the symptoms. All the research I did on my symptoms pointed me in the direction of eating several small meals a day, low in fat, high in fiber which meant a lot of whole grains, fruits and veggies.
Through college and after college, during the week I ate a lot of whole grain cereal, whole grain bread with peanut butter and jelly, apples, pears, broccoli, TONS of Kashi products (I still miss them!) Lean Cuisine or other microwave meals, skim milk (I was unconvinced that lactose intolerance was my only problem) and diet soda and the weekends consisted of junk food and alcohol.
My problems went in a cycle: episode on Sunday, increasingly gassy and bloated Mon-Thurs, episode on Thursday, partying Thurs night – Sat night. I felt like my diet during the week was working for me, despite the terrible gas, because it was preventing constipation which I thought led to the diarrhea since it seemed that they alternated.
I had a million ways of being in denial that I had a problem that might have a solution. I had been told to “play with my diet” after telling doctors about some of these “annoyances” and I was just sick of it all and settled for what it was, which was “predictably painful.” I remember avoiding social situations if I knew my stomach would probably act up and I avoided exercising at a gym in favor of home workout videos because any type of exercise could bring on symptoms. Remember, I was not even close to being a runner yet!
To be continued in part 2 tomorrow! Part 2 will follow me through my pregnancies (rough times!) and running, right up to the point I’m at now.
Have you ever struggled with persistent and mysterious gastrointestinal issues?
I’m so sorry it took you so long to discover the paleo diet! It’s really unfortunate that you had to suffer for so long. They say a bad gut means a bad mood–and I think they’re absolutely right!
So true! I used to feel so ashamed and “different” and just blamed myself for not being able to figure it out!
i can totally relate. and sometimes we go through the tough part to come out stronger, which you have. slowly but surely
Absolutely! It’s hard to share these things because of how shameful and frustrating it all has been but it also feels really good to write it all down.
I have to be honest I had to start skimming this because I couldn’t stand reading about how sick you were! You poor girl. I think back then it was harder to believe how much our diets can influence how we feel and our health. Now, it’s like the FIRST thing we think of. Am I getting enough water, is dairy bothering me, etc. etc. etc
It is amazing how that has changed in my lifetime! Also now with the internet, people don’t feel so “different” and ashamed of symptoms, because we find out that other people go through similar things. Part 2 at least will have a happy ending 🙂
I am so sorry that it took you so many years to figure it out! Doctors really can’t know everything and I ‘ve found that often times we really need to take matters into our own hands and figure out what works best for ourselves. You are so right about not needing some official diagnosis. It makes me crazy when I hear people say they are injured/hurt/sick but the xray/mri/test came back negative. We are the only ones in our bodies who knows how it feels. And when we find a ‘cure’ it doesn ‘t need to be approved or accepted by anyone besides ourselves. People may eye roll at how going paleo/ vegan / or whatever ‘healed’ someone but it’s important to block out others opinions and know what feels and works best for ourselves.
I struggled with constipation for years and finally figured out what helps me. I feel like a whole different ( MUCH happier!) person.
So glad that you are better now ! I imagine it is a relief and provides a sense of liberation?
Yes, I completely agree with all you said. Obviously an eye roll or 2 doesn’t compare to feeling healthy now. It’s helpful for me to write it all down and see the progression. Just finished writing the second part which I’ll post tomorrow. Thanks for reading. So glad you found relief for yourself too!
Wow I had no idea just how intense your problems with food had been for basically your entire life! I’m so glad you discovered paleo. I know that even though I didn’t have alot of stomach problems before, that paleo has made me feel really good! Looking forward to hearing about the rest of your story!
Just finished writing the second part, it was good to get it all down and actually look at the timeline. It’s hard to think back on all of it and share it with everyone since it was secretive and a source of shame for a long time. Not something I ever thought I’d tell the world, but, with how it’s improved I think I need to share my story!
Ok, now I want to know the rest of the story!! Ugh, how frustrating and embarrassing and painful to have spent so many years of your life like this. But I guess, as with so many things we go through, it has added to who you are and now you are able to tell your story and inspire and inform other people in changing their lives for the better. Looking forward to the second part!
The second part will be posted tomorrow 🙂 It has definitely been frustrating but I’m really glad I’m getting it all figured out. And yes, it has been a big part of how I got to where I am now!
Reading this makes me so angry at doctors! (And also brings up memories of thinking overeating to the point of getting sick was perfectly normal). I think things have changed though in terms of how educated people are about nutrition but there is still plenty of ignorance and misinformation. Parents were definitely misinformed by doctors (like when mommy was sick for years with hypoglycemia and told not to eat eggs because of their high cholesterol content) and that misinformation led them to Atkins who was very controversial at that time. Now “protein” and “gluten free” are popular nutritional buzzwords for the general population. As kids of the 80s/90s we were definitely exposed to a lot of junk, probably more so than kids these days are (hopefully). I’m excited to read part 2!
Part 2 will get you angrier at doctors. Awareness of food intolerance in general and the idea that nutrition influences everything has become a lot more widespread in the past 20 years for sure.
I think it’s incredibly brave for you to write about your struggles. You continue to inspire me with your writing and how open and honest you are! I can’t wait to read part two. I just have to say that my heart breaks for little Michele..I can’t imagine how emotionally devastating that was for you as a child/teenager. It’s got to feel great to have overcome this now at this point in your life! Hugs!
Thanks! I figure at this point it makes sense for people to understand where I’m coming from with my gut healing. It is pretty hard to look back on all of it, but, like anything else it makes you who you are in the end!
So true!:)
Hi Michelle! So happy to have found your blog! I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis in 2007 after having “IBS” for as long as I can remember (very similar stories)! I started eating the specific carbohydrate diet (very similar to paleo) in 2011 and have never felt better. I just started running just over a year ago and now I’m training for my first half. Thanks so much for your blog – it’s keeping me inspired to keep running and helping me with some great meal ideas to keep my energy up!
I’m so glad you could relate to my story! It’s definitely strange putting it out there, but to get feedback like yours makes me feel like it’s more than worth it. It’s so interesting that you were finally diagnosed after years of “IBS” and I find the “irritable bowl syndrome” dx is just kind of telling us what we already knew, no answers as to how to proceed. Happy to hear you are feeling well now!
Oh, girl, you know I can relate. I am waiting to hear how you solved all of these issues (especially as I know so much about it myself!)
Bonding over personal digestive problems is the stuff that makes the internet great 😉 Not fun stuff to think back on though.
This is so inspiring and thoughtful and courageous. I really appreciate you and your willingness to share and be open about the trials and tribulations with us! I can totally relate, by 16 I had already accumulated several nutrition books because I felt like I could not eat a meal without feeling bloated and foggy and very sick, light-headed and woozy. I found Fit for Life when I was 16, and that was my first time to eat meals without feeling horrible. Just separated my protein from the carbs, and eating was finally enjoyable! But when I went vegetarian, I got the symptoms all over again. Fast forward nearly 20 years and here I am, still learning but realizing that how much I have learned and am grateful for the experiences, and especially for people like you that make me feel less weird, lol 🙂
I’m always glad to help people not feel weird 😉 It’s great that you were on top of your nutrition from such a young age! I thought I was but really was just focusing on all the wrong things and really never thought to question any of it. I never realized how much of an impact nutrition makes. Sure, stress, sleep, life circumstances do come into play, but without the right foods the problems will surely persist!
You’re so right, nutrition can make everything else in life better or worse! I know when I’m eating healthy fats my brain and hormones are much happier 🙂
It’s funny that you mention how lucky I was to ‘see the light’ at an early age, it’s true but it only really lasted a short while. I still ended up succumbing to the need to fit in with my friends and that meant crappy food – and partying with the best of them. I always paid the price, and that worse part is that I knew better. I have a hard time accepting that I did not use my knowledge for good, but thank goodness it’s never too late!
I was always so ahead of myself, trying to find solutions to every single thing in my life and fix it. That is not necessarily awesome when it’s consuming, overwhelming, and then nothing gets accomplished. Yup I think I’m a classic case of extremist personality, lol.
I can somewhat relate, when I feel I “know better” I can be hard on myself. I think we just need to make room for mistakes and go easier, not judging ourselves too harshly.
OK, first off – thank you SO MUCH for sharing this! Yeah, I am slow – this has been sitting in my inbox for two weeks since I first read it waiting for me to comment (part of why I had to change things up!)
I think that a lot of people suffer to some degree with some of this stuff, and it gets glossed over unless there is a severe reaction. Lisa definitely dealt with it – and as someone who can eat pretty much anything, it has always been hard for me to see her suffering much as you describe. Lactose tolerance issues, apple allergy, issues with most nuts and tree fruits, and on and on … not easy.
Thanks again for sharing your story … now on to #2 🙂
Thanks for your thoughtful comments on both parts of this! It is something I know a lot of people have dealt with and it’s very true that it’s often ignored or tolerated or accepted because it seems like there’s no solution. Seems like now people are pointed in a better direction at least than most were 20 years ago. It’s been quite an experience.
Thanks for sharing your story, I had the same problem, glad you found a cure.
Amazing the difference felt so quickly! I have to be careful but at least I have the knowledge now, feels so much better. Glad you’re doing better too!
I just found your blog. this is me to a T even now. I’ve been playing with my diet now. after years of being vegan the only thing that seems to help is to take out as much fiber as possible. I’m doing a ketogenic diet at the moment which makes a lot of it better but I still get episodes and its been like at least once a day on most days. I look forward to reading part two 🙂
Ugh, so sorry to hear you’re struggling! If you’re already testing things in your diet I definitely recommend trying low FODMAP and seeing how that goes, I think it’s helped me the most!