As I’ve mentioned, my daughter Diana, age 7 and 1/2, is my “naturally paleo” kid. Never cared for pasta, is always up for a second portion of meat and eats fried plantains on the daily. She also claims paleo pancakes are better than IHOP. Seriously, she was born to eat paleo.
For a while now she’s been wanting to write a “guest post” for the blog, and on Sunday morning she had a burst of inspiration after an experience at breakfast with her bacon. This was a total “Thinking Out Loud” moment for her, so, it was only fitting for me to include it in today’s post. Besides, a little break from MY thoughts might not hurt 😉
Thanks for hosting, Amanda! And now, the (barely) edited version of “How to Keep Your Bacon Safe” by Diana Rosen:
How to Keep Your Bacon Safe
Bacon is good for you, but only the organic bacon. It’s the best food in the world!! 🙂 Breakfast is the best time to eat bacon. If someone is near you, make sure to hide your bacon in a good hiding spot. When someone leaves their bacon on their plate your job is to get that bacon to safety. Make sure no person is looking at you. If someone in your family is a bacon crazy person like me, you need to be on the look out – you never know when they’re trying to eat your bacon.
Now we’re going to talk about your family trying to eat your bacon. For example, my dad 20 minutes ago just was trying to steal my bacon. I was also trying to get his bacon but whatever.
Okay so how to keep your bacon safe. Well one way is to eat the bacon. 2 is put it in your room in a bag. 3 is put it in a pocket in tin foil but make sure it’s tucked inside the pocket so no family member will see the bacon. 4 is put the bacon behind you. But most important, remember don’t let your dad or someone else steal your bacon.
By Diana Rosen

If that guest post is not a sign that I’m raising my kids right, then please show me what would be. Just kidding of course, it simply means Diana appreciates any excuse to write a story about her favorite food. It’s really time I get her one of those bacon T-Shirts or something 🙂
Not to be outdone, Emily, age 6, also wrote a guest post for today. She seems to be more into the design than the writing and that very much meshes with her style. This was the finished project:
Don’t eat a lot of candy, eat a lot of colors. Good advice for anyone and inclusive of all special diets, right?
In other kids news, Emily has officially “moved up” from Kindergarten as of yesterday. I always have mixed feelings at the end of every school year, but mostly I’m relieved we got through another all in one piece! The changes from the first day to the last are pretty drastic in Kindergarten but it’s easy to forget where you started if you don’t look back.
The difference in her writing even from the winter is pretty awesome 🙂
And not to steal my childrens’ spotlight (and because my thoughts right now just can’t compete with the bacon piece) I’ll leave you with all this to contemplate for today!
Stay cool, don’t eat too much candy, and please, for the love of all things paleo, keep your bacon safe from predators.
What’s your tip for keeping your ___________ (insert favorite food) safe?
You are raising some very smart children:) I actually think Emily’s post goes to show that healthy eating can be much simpler than we make it out to be. And great advice for the bacon…in our house my best bet is to keep any good food out of sight and then (most likely) it won’t get stolen. Rob will eat things that are out on the counter or in the front of the fridge but rarely goes searching for food and easily forgets what we have:)
Adam is the same, it has to be front and center for the most part, although he’ll put out a good effort to find anything sweet!
How to keep your chocolate safe…. Keep it in the fridge in the vegetable drawer, no one looks in there!
I like that tip, very sneaky!
OMGOSH I LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS and shall show to my nine year old when she’s awake.
no food tips here—it is a CrAzY freeforall.
Haha glad you enjoyed 🙂
How not to steal my almond butter? Stash it in the fridge or a closet! The bacon post is hilarious! Did someone other than your husband try to steal hers?
No, just him, but the funny thing is she’s really the one trying to steal everyone else’s bacon 🙂
Aww you’ve got some of the cutest kids ever! Obviously you’re doing right by them 🙂 I can’t say that I’ve ever had to fight for food that was already on my plate, buuuuut I did have a habit of hiding treats and snacks in odd places when I was still living at home so no one would eat the last one. The back of the veggie shelf in the fridge was a particular favourite spot 😉
For some reason I’ve never thought to hide things in unsuspecting places but I’m hearing that a lot! Then again I’m a little too used to having my food eaten so I’ve basically given up:)
How cute! I should use these tips on my husband, he’s always eating all the bacon…
Haha! Bacon battle is a regular thing here 🙂
I love this. Girlfriend knows where it is at!
Key life lesson!
This was super cute! You are raising some pretty smart kids. My tactic is to just buy lots of bacon! That way there is enough – Scott knows better than to steal mine. 🙂
I feel like I could cook a pound and there would still be fights! Good tip though 🙂
Hahahahahaha priceless 😉 When they realize this is now on the internet forever……. 😉
Thank you for the laughs and smiles today! I needed them!
She was so proud 🙂 glad you enjoyed this!
So cute! I’m totally with Diana. Hiding your favorite food is key. Or you could be like Ross in Friends and write a really mean note and leave it in the fridge. Can’t say I haven’t done that as a joke 😉
Haha forgot about the mean note! Labeling things could work too although not after they’re cooked!
This has to be the most adorable post ever. Love how your kids are being raised so healthy – I wish I had more of that when I was growing up!! Tip to keep my pizza safe, eat it all so no one else can have it! 🙂
When my kids do get pizza it’s sort of the same thing, trying to steal crust and cheese, and my husband waiting for someone to turn their head!
Adorable! I changed my eating habits over time without any prompting really…but some things stuck, like not eating red meat because my mom doesn’t (I eat fish and turkey/chicken). However, she eats no veggies, and I only ate carrots at Diana’s age – eventually I fell in love with leafy greens and all the rest!
One thing that’s stuck – I used to write odes to ice cream. I still do 🙂
I’m still working on the other 2 with veggies! Ice cream used to be my favorite, I’m still looking to either find or make a great coconut one 🙂
Me and Diana are already enemies then and we haven’t even met! 😉
This was golden, Michele. Definitely doing everything right 🙂
Too funny! Bacon war is on 🙂
This is precious! This past year at college, I literally had to hide my favorite foods from my roommate. I had a special box hidden under my bed! 🙂
Must keep it safe!
Get that bacon to SAFETY!!!!! Thank you Diana for your excellent advice! Sounds like your dad likes bacon a lot too, so be careful around him!
Thank you Emily for your post too, I love how you cut your paper so it looks like the sun!
I need a picture of Drew with his t-shirt hair! 🙂
Oh he’ll be so happy to learn his shirt hair is famous 🙂 glad you enjoyed this!
I always hide food in my room or at the back of the fridge where my brothers won’t look! My brothers are 6 ft tall football players & eat everything in sight, so it can be hard just to get any food around my house lol! Love the guest post on keeping your bacon safe!
Oh man sounds like you have quite the challenge keeping your food safe! Back of the fridge is smart, it seems like many guys don’t think to look there 🙂
Omg they are so adorable!!! What clever and articulate writing, so impressed with them both 🙂
I put our nuts in the freezer hoping my husband won’t eat them, but he started to ignore the frozen part and still eats them up like popcorn. Oh well better than other stuff right?
Frozen just makes snacks better I think! And thank you so much, my girls will be so happy to hear that 🙂
Okay your kids are officially my favorites now! While Diana’s post was quite detailed and applicative, Emily’s was to the point and spot on as well. Very honored to have read their words of wisdom! My form of hiding food is to shove it behind everything else in the fridge/freezer so that not a single speck of it is in sight. It hasn’t worked very well so far :P.
They will be so happy to hear that! The back of the fridge can be a great spot, I always “hide” something from myself by accident and totally forget it’s there 🙂
Check out Diana’s penmanship and writing! Incredible (in my opinion) for a 7 and 1/2 year old. Awesome. Great job!
Thank you! She’ll be so thrilled to hear that 🙂
Oh my word this is precious! Diana has an excellent wisdom in her writing and Emily certainly has pzazz 🙂
Aw, thank you so much! They each have their own style for sure 🙂
I loved this post! Such a cute idea and I bet they both are so excited!
Aw thank you! They were proud 🙂
This is just too precious! And great advice by both, some very smart girls!
Thank you 🙂 They were so proud!